A dance troupe from the Wiltshire parish of Wooton Bassett has announced plans for a morris dance through the Afghan town of Jalamabad in a daring response to extremist leader Anjem Choudary’s decision to organise a Muslim anti-war demonstration in their own West Country village.
John Rosebottom, chairman of the Wooton Bassett Morris Dancing and Real Ale Appreciation society, denied claims that the dance was merely a publicity stunt, stating “the procession through Jalamabad is an attempt to engage the Afghan people with the reality of contemporary morris culture, not to mention dousing ourselves in nine percent cider and having a playful grope at the bossoms of a few buxom wenches.”
While Choudray’s extremist party Islam4UK caused outrage this week by claiming his march will include 500 coffins symbolising the Muslim dead from the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan, the Wiltshire morris men will also be carrying coffins, symbolising the death of traditional folk dance in rural Britain. The rest of the organised jig will consist of grown men dressed in ill fitting white gowns adorned with bells and ribbons, prancing through the streets of the quiet Afghan town in front of an audience of bemused locals and Taliban fighters, and culminating in a dance round the maypole in the centre of the bustling marketplace.
Muhammed Mazari Sharif, a local Muslim cleric, spoke out against the march, stating “it’s disgraceful the way these English think they can simply come over here and inflict their culture on us. The people of Jalamabad are decent, quiet, pragmatic people and I’m sure they’ll stay at home instead of reacting to the dance”.
“Thankfully there is only a tiny minority of morris dancers in Afghanistan and I don’t expect this event to have any wider support. Personally I prefer the hypnotic hip gyrations of that infidel temptress Lady GaGa.”
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