The new bishop to the British armed forces has apologised after admitting to a surprise conversion to Islam last week. The Reverend Stephen Veneer made the announcement yesterday during a controversial interview with the Daily Telegraph, where he stated the Taliban could “be admired for their conviction to their faith and their sense of loyalty to each other” before adding “fair play, those guys don’t just talk the talk, they walk the walk”.
The Reverend represents the latest in a series of disillusioned Anglican clergy who have swapped their dog collars for AK-47s to pursue a campaign of religious fundamentalist carnage in the Middle East, citing religious apathy back home as a key factor:
“To be honest, I don’t think the British soldiers really cared whether I was there or not. During my sermons I’d often catch them staring into space or writing down cheats for Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare in their Bibles. But those Taliban really take their religion seriously. I finally feel like I’m making a difference.”
One MP declared the bishop’s comments ‘about as sensitive as pebble-dash toilet paper’ bearing in mind the current public mood, and drew specific attention to his description of Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar as ‘an all round top bloke’.
However Rev Veneer said he would be “deeply grieved” if anyone had taken offence at his comments and hoped his conversion had not jeopardized his job. “I’d hate to be thought of as unpatriotic,” he said, while feverishly burying a Soviet E-19 landmine at the side of a road regularly used by British forces. “Far from it. I am still very supportive of the infidel invaders…err I mean our brave lads”.
The former bishop has also strongly denied any rumours that he is now heading up Taliban operations in the troubled Uruzgan province of Northern Afghanistan.
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